Kimberley Anne Better Better Willis I was born. That went well. Not long after, I was walking and talking and stamping and shouting and making my mark on the world. I discovered Mum's typewriter when I was eight years old and have been fascinated by words and sentences ever since. I continue to stamp and shout, but now with added 'I might blog about this later' notemaking.
“I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.”
As seen online.
Lucky old me, I know lots of clever writers. Here’s a showcase of other writers of the witty, warm, wonderful variety. Click here to read their words.
Here's a selection of my recently published articles.
A blog roll of other sites I know and love and wish I’d thought of.
Stimuli // stimuli plural of stim·u·lus (Noun)
Pets Interrupting Yoga
So, man arrived.
Have a little listen.
Kids. Dishwasher loading.
Kids. Loo Roll.
Your brain on MDMA
Dog Vs Tot
Owl facts. Sort of.
Micah P Hinson
Babies Are Cute
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Invictus by William Ernest Henley
Shared with me by my sis.
Hit Pop Song
The Lunacy of Ink was born on Valentine's Day 2008... a gift from a suitor who liked my writing and wanted to give me a platform from which to flourish. So I married him. It's a reportage style open diary of my adventures and escapades. I escapade a lot. There's a bit of current affairs thrown in, whenever I feel I have something new to say about Kate Middleton.
Social media, you little tyke. You have sucked me in and shown me for what I truly am: nothing but a flagrant show off, strutting my stuff online before I even think to fact-check. I’m like Lindsay Lohan Instagramming an Arabic message that she thought read ‘you’re beautiful’ but actually read ‘you’re a donkey.’
I feel like a bit of an ass myself right now.
Because like Lindsay, I just want to inspire my Instagram followers (all 70 of them – beat that, Lohan.). Continue reading
The General Election is nearly upon us and I am poised, ready to mark a cross in a box. But which box?
I don’t take a huge amount of interest in politics, because politicians make politics mind numbingly dull. Hand me a copy of the New Statesman and I glaze over. I have more of an appetite for salacious goss about Jennifer’s Aniston, Lopez and Garner than I do the political leanings of MP’s Cameron, Miliband and Farage. Continue reading
In the never ending saga of my big bad bastard back, it’s Magnetic Resonance Imaging week, a clever contraption used to have a peek inside my anatomy and see what’s what. I’ve been looking forward to it for yonks. The poor old NHS had to defer my appointment after the MRI machine caught fire a while back. I know, not exactly a relaxing image for when you’re stuck inside the tube trying not to be claustrophobic. Continue reading
In my continued quest for inner peace, I’ve been reading many articles about happiness. I’ve never really thought of myself as much of a complainer – it’s a word with negative connotations and I’m an expert in painting a picture of myself as an all round entertainer, not the sort to drag you down to the seabed with an anchor made of misery. (Seafaring metaphors come so easily to me. I like boats.) Continue reading
I have had an existential crisis. Following the accident that has had me bed-bound since New Year’s Eve, I have been in unfamiliar territory. Physically stilled, I’ve been questioning the very foundations of my being (a legend). Known to some as melodramatic, and yet to others as a minor meltdown, erring on the side of a mental health wobble. Continue reading
In recent years my mum and I have created what can now confidently be described as a family tradition. Annually, we pick a one day course in something crafty, cookery or clever in nature in order to improve ourselves in one way or another.
We have tried book binding, Thai cooking, silver jewellery making, knife skills, fish gutting, carpentry and how to have better conversations (yes, an actual course in talking, which I blogged about here) Continue reading
There was an incident a few years ago, for which the consumption of alcohol was largely to blame for my behaviour. It made me realise that contrary to popular belief (in my head, where all the neural pathways lead to signs that read: ‘You’re brilliant!’) I didn’t become more of a legend the more I drank. I, would you believe it, actually became less of a legend, the more I drank. Continue reading
I win I win I win. That’s right, after seven long years with Princess Beardface, I am finally bequeathed the title of person who has had the longest relationship with the man who is now my husband. Continue reading