HOLA GRANOLA

  • AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: Adventures, Doing Things, Funny Ha Ha, Health and Fitness, Opinion Piece, Pretty Pictures, Product Review, Recipes, Shopping

    9 Comments
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    Nice Nuts

    In my continued quest to rid the world of sugar, I’d like to share with you a granola recipe that I’ve fallen in love with. Because in quitting sugar, I find breakfast to be the most challenging of meals to get right. ALL shop bought cereals (even the healthy ones) are laden with sugar or some derivative. Bread? Got sugar. Fruit? Got sugar.

    Shop-bought granola is a sugar overload masquerading as a healthy breakfast choice. Don’t believe the granola lies. Quaker Oats Granola: Sugar is the second ingredient. Followed by raisins (also sugar). Then glucose syrup (sugar again) then some other stuff, then honey. Which is sugar pretending to be good for you.

    What about Jordan’s Crunchy Oat Granola? Surely Jordan’s, the trusted breakfast brand, can be relied upon to deliver granola as healthy as it appears to be in the ads? Because we all know the Granola lifestyle choice is way better than the Sugar Puffs lifestyle choice, right? Wrong. Ingredients: Oats. Then raw cane sugar.

    It’s all lies! You can’t trust anyone! Sugar is everywhere! 

    You can trust me though, because I’ve done my research. And by done my research, I mean abide by everything I Quit Sugar has to tell me. So I’ve made their granola recipe and here it is for your delectation. 

    It’s sweetened by good old cinnamon and coconut. You can also add optional rice malt syrup, which is made from fermented cooked rice. It’s free of fructose (bad) and doesn’t punch your liver in its face, like sucrose, fructose and pure glucose. 

    Here’s what you need:

    3 cups coconut flakes

    2 cups oats (optional – if you have a husband as greedy as mine, you’ll want it to go further)

    2 cups mix of nuts and seeds – I used pecans, cashews, almonds and pumpkin seeeds

    2 tablespoons chia seeds (the new superfood)

    1 teaspoon cinnamon

    80-100g coconut oil

    80g rice malt syrup – optional

    What is a cup of food, I asked myself. For it is an American mesaurement and I am pretty sure it doesn’t mean any old mug. Luckily, a very good friend had the foresight to give me these official cups a few years ago, each has its cup-ness emblazoned on the side. What a brilliant present. Every time a recipe calls for a cup or a quarter of a cup of something and I don’t reach for any old mug, I think of my friend and her ace present giving skillz.

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    The pink one is the full cup. A very important cup now I’m a baker.

    I racked up all my ingredients thus:

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    Oats, Nuts, Coconut Shreds, Chia Seeds. Bosh.

    Now that I’ve moved to the countryside I have to keep all my food in kilner jars. It’s basically a law. They don’t let you past the gate until you buy shit loads of these jars and promise to keep them on display in your kitchen like a twat.

    I measured my nuts (oh, soldier!) into bowls because I like to pretend I’m on a televised cooking show where everything is pre-measured. Yes, I talk to the wall as if it’s Camera One. Don’t we all?

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    Nice Bowls. Why Thank You.

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    CHOPPING THE NUTS. With my Shellac manicure on display, don’t mind if I do.

    That’s me! CHOPPING THE NUTS.

    I say that in capital letters because I forgot to chop the nuts the first time I made this. Chopping the nuts makes light work of chewing later.

    Bung it all together in a lined tray and it’ll look like this:

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    The big lump of lard-looking stuff is the coconut oil. That’ll melt and bind the ingredients together.

    Place in pre-heated oven (whoops, forgot to mention that earlier. Pre-heat your oven to 120.) for 20-30 minutes, depending how toasty you want it.

    Good luck not eating it all in one go while it’s still warm from the oven.

    Once cooled, I pour it all into the daddy of all glass jars.

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    It’s the leaning tower of granola!

    This glass jar has been in my family since the 1980s. My dad foresaw that sweet shops would eventually replace these with plastic alternatives, so decided it was our job to sweep up as many of them as we could. He’d send us into sweet shops to ask if we could buy them for £1. (Who could resist a sweet child in a sweet shop?)

    As a little window into my childhood, here’s a tale, best told in quotation from my mad old dad.

    “When your brother was about nine we were dining in a restaurant on the second floor looking out across a street to a sweet shop on the other side of the road. I sent him over for a glass jar. The mission included crossing a busy road. He came back with 5.”

    I love the use of the word mission there. And my husband wonders why I’m so militant. My brother probably even did a commando roll.

    Dad went on to tell me these glass jars were another of his business ventures. “I had an idea of going round all the sweet shops and buying them in the hundreds, storing them and waiting 30 years (wait a minute, that’s about now) and selling them to nostalgic buyers.  I see they are going on eBay now for £4.50, So I would have made £300 – wouldn’t have kept up with inflation. Not one of my best ideas.”

    Unlike the washing machine he’s invented which folds your clothes, currently waiting to make my family rich.

COMMENTS

9 Responses to Hola Granola

  • Sue Willis wrote on March 21, 2014 at 12:25 //

    Recipe sounds great but a few of the ingredients are hard to find (impossible down here in farming country) in Denmark so I’ll make it when I get back to England.
    Love the story about Jae!

  • Hannah wrote on March 21, 2014 at 12:46 //

    Since you started bullying me about sugar I’ve been eating eggs for breakfast because I can’t think of any other Kim-approved breakfast goods. Now I can make this without getting in a sugar sweat slash panic. THANK YOU! x

  • Kimberley Willis wrote on March 22, 2014 at 2:25 //

    Haha, to be your bully is my pleasure xx

  • Kimberley Willis wrote on March 22, 2014 at 2:26 //

    Yes, I’m finding Amazon and Holland & Barrett essential now – supermarkets don’t cut the mustard! x

  • Liza Kirwan wrote on March 22, 2014 at 2:31 //

    fits in with my sugar free philoss. But, eek, is froot truly so dire? I eat quite a bit, (but then I don’t do booze – and booze = S*U*G*A*R off the chain – so do I get a special allowance?

    My home made bread has no sugar. Wd you like the recipe? xx!

  • Kimberley Willis wrote on March 24, 2014 at 8:18 //

    If you love fruit and are so good in other walks of life then go for it, but what I’m reading is that fruit sugars break down just the same way as ‘bad’ sugars… YES PLEASE to your homemade bread recipe! x

  • Emma wrote on March 26, 2014 at 2:53 //

    I’m making this right now. (With a teaspoon of honey – don’t tell the sugar police).

  • Kimberley Willis wrote on March 26, 2014 at 2:58 //

    Ha! Enjoy the delights! xx

  • Sue Willis wrote on April 5, 2014 at 9:56 //

    Mine didn’t look a bit like your picture but it’s all gone already (mostly into Jae) and today Pip & I will make a new batch, even bigger than the first! x

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