We invite guest writers to join us for a rant, celebration, description, interview, anecdote, doodle or a meltdown. Interested? The floor is yours – you can write whatever you like. As long as you know your spelling and grammar and you can make me laugh.
Rachel Hirons | 2014
The honour of hosting Rachel’s ramblings is something of a coup for the Lunacy of Ink. Have you seen Powder Room - starring Sheridan Smith? Rachel wrote that. She’s the Next Big Thing in screenwriting and she is HERE.
I first met Rachel at a festival a few years back and I have been in awe of her ever since. She’s funny, she’s smart and she WRITES FILMS. Or movies, as they say in L.A, where Rachel will probably be living soon. I will reblog this post when she wins her first Oscar. For at that moment I, by association, will also win my first Oscar. In an ‘I KNOW HER’ sort of way.
Part time waitress, full time student Lauren has got me thinking. My £12,000 debt from university (still paying off) was a total waste. Lauren is here to talk about the choices facing 17 year olds today (now looking at nearly £30,000 university debt).
Lauren is entertained by cat videos, which is good as the internet has quite a few of those. An Army child, she has travelled the world and hopes to become a political journalist. You saw her name here first…
Not only does she have an awesome name, but she’s recently discovered the merits of the coffee bean, making her doubly awesome. It took me years to realise how fun coffee can be, although I struggle to find the happy place these days. I’m stuck somewhere between ‘it hasn’t hit me yet’ and ‘ahhhh my heart! Has someone laced this with cocaine?’
Tamsyn explores her new found coffee addiction here. She’s still an early-days addict, who hasn’t started chasing the highs yet. Give her time.
You can follow Tamsyn on Twitter here.
There are no rules here at Lunacy, so if I want to have the same guest blogger twice, I bloody will. Especially when they write as good as what Stuart does. (See May 2013 below for his first outing here.)
I keep telling Stuart to get his own blog, but his inability to pull his finger out is my gain, as I just love his way with words. Here he is talking about his Grandmother. His subject matter hit a soft spot with me as I had a very close relationship with my grandma too.
And you can follow Stu’s very funny tweets here.
My maternal grandfather was, by all accounts, a cheeky man. He had a lovely sense of humour and I am sad that he passed away before I was born. I think we would have got on well. My mum had a teacher called Mrs Middleweek and Grandpa called her ‘Mrs Wednesday.’ That’s my kind of humour.
Grandpa was handy with a pen too. Here is a poem he wrote that I want to share with you because it always makes me smile. He may not be here anymore, but he deserves to be up here with the best of my guests.
Obvs he’s not on Twitter or any such nonsense. That’s my mum standing on his shoulders in the pic. Beauts!
December | 2013 – Louise from Sew Scrumptious.
It gives me great pleasure to introduce the wonderfully talented Louise. She runs Sew Scrumptious, the blog that reminds me I can’t sew. It’s full of inspirational sewing tutorials and is the home of Louise’s project to dress every girl in the world. Intrigued? Head on over to Louise’s blog to get involved. Sewing skills required.
Or you could just spend all day browsing Sew Scrumptious’s fabric shop. I do. I decide I definitely need more bunting, cushions and skirts, just so I can acquire more of these lovely threads. This is my current fave.
Here’s Louise teaching us how to sew a Christmas stocking.
November | 2013 – Fairy Betty, AKA Bethany
The world wide web is full of bloggers. Bethany’s USP is her age, when, coupled with her tenacity, equate to a pretty unique young thing. There is probably a mathematical calculation that can be conjured up where X is Bethany’s tender age (16) and Y is her contrasting wisdom (16 going on 30) and Z is the answer: Awesome Blogger. In my ignorance, I thought all 16 year olds were up to no good but Bethany assures me my stereotype is way out of whack.
Here Bethany is, introducing us to home made ice-cream. Yum.
On one of my rare occasions actually remembering to read my Twitter feed, I saw the Good Men Project tweet a link to Ferrett’s blog, specifically the letter to his daughter, detailing his hopes that she has awesome sex. I thought the letter was brilliant. So I wrote to Mr F and asked him if I could put his letter to his daughter on my blog too. Obvs he said yes, as here we are. Click here to read Ferrett’s letter to his daughter.
September | 2013 – Katy Palmer
So, here’s the thing. Katy is funnier than me. Damn her. I love her blog. I love her life. I love her. When our paths crossed (on Twitter again, like all good paths) I not only wanted the honour of Katy’s presence on my blog, I also wanted to be her friend. In real life. Sadly, she a) lives too far away for this to happen and b) probably has enough friends without wanting one off the internet. Very wise.
I have very small feet for my height, so Katy’s subject matter is one I can sympathise with. Click here to read all about Katy’s feet. (Great for those of you with a foot fetish.) Click here to read Katy’s very good blog.
I’m not entirely sure I understand the merits of Twitter but it is good for me for one thing. Finding witty writers like Kathy. Not just a witty writer, Kathy also likes to do very important things with her time, like starfishing in bed in a onsie. Who doesn’t?
Kathy is a lover of good books, flea markets, treasure and troves. When she’s not throwing ‘hideous’ (her words) shapes on the dance floor (I’m sure she looks ravishing) she is attempting to be professional in her day job. (AKA putting on a pencil skirt and hoping for the best.) And if you can’t find her on the dance floor, she’s in bed. Eating toast. Covered in Marmite. The toast, that is, not Kathy. Although I don’t doubt a bit of Marmite gets on a person if they’re going to eat it in bed like a crazy.
Emma is one of those rare types of women who is a) sober and b) last to leave the dance floor. If I’m going to be b) I need not to be a). But Emma isn’t like me. She’s a mischievous little scamp who has a heart of gold. Case in point – when I told her I wished I was marrying someone with the surname ‘Slazenger’ she went out of her way to find me a giant tennis ball emblazoned with ‘Slazenger’ as a wedding gift. Get her in your corner, she’s an awesome friend.
Honey Boo Boo. No, not that one. This little legend is a dazzling scamp, a mischievous imp who always looks gorgeous, even when she’s dressing up as a dead Steve Irwin shortly after he actually did die, just because the dress code was ‘celebrity’. Boo can do the splits, is inexplicably intelligent, limited only by her inability to realise how brilliant she is. She’s going to do big things in this life people, mark my words. Remember her name. Like you could forget it.
May | 2013 – Stuart Roberts
I had the pleasure and honour of sitting next to Stuart in an office once. My enjoyment of office hours increased by 73% and my productivity decreased by 37%, due to often preferring to jape with the ginger haired, bespectacled one. He once made me go to Subway on our lunch break and we were late back to the office and I didn’t even care. On a serious matter, he’s a very funny writer.
Baron Van Humbeeck – a master of all trades. Novelist, martial artist, poet, tree climber, swordsman, sailor, charmer, host, father, brother, mother, lover. Well, most of those things. He’s the guy you want at your party, because he oozes charm like toothpaste from the tube. He’s the guy you’d ask to officiate your wedding. (We did.) He’s the guy you’d ask to beat someone up if they were mean to you. (I did. He didn’t.) He’s the guy you’d ask to climb a tree for you because your Easter egg has been hidden too high. (I did. He did.)
Realising I before E except after C is the exception, not the rule, BVH penned a little beauty, which you can read here.
It seems lazy of me to just bang on about how beautiful this Doyle bird is. Everyone knows it. But the thing I find so beautiful about her is not her dazzling good looks or impressive knockers, it’s her exuberant, excitable, energetic soul. Yes, James Corden once propositioned her and yes, she posed for a picture with Frieda Pinto and made Frieda look like a plain jane, but it’s the alliteration of e’s in her soul that keep me coming back for more. That sounds like a drugs reference. It isn’t.
February | 2013 – Helen Statham
Helen and I met in a very 21st century way. On Twitter. Every time we communicate, I love her a little bit more. For example, in her most recent email, I found out that she just really likes salt. A little known fact about Helen that makes me chuckle. Helen writes her own blog, a must-see for fashion fans. But I thought it would be fun to ask Helen to write something non-fashion related for the Lunacy of Ink. While circling ideas, Helen mentioned her love of old people and an idea was born. The following blog makes me miss my grandma. But at least
I’ve always got Helen if I need an injection of pensioner.
To sum Amy up in one paragraph would be to do her a disservice, but I’ll try. She loves Gary Barlow a more than healthy amount, she has recently discovered that there is an owl nesting in her surname, she loves sending post, forcing people to do Sambuca’s on a school night and pizza. Despite being one of the loveliest people in the world, she is always getting herself in trouble. And she gets 10% off everything. For no good reason.