This week I’m unveiling my awesome cow shed. It was a bit gross when we moved in three months ago. Now it’s fricking party-time and I’m going to show you how it went from yuk to yay with a bit of help from Out There Interiors. Continue reading
Good news fans, I’ve decided to write a novel. I’ll probably use a pseudonym so the book can be judged on its own merits, and not because I, Kim Willis, off of Instant Restaurant* 2009, wrote it. Me and J.K Rowling, we’re fed up of being judged on our fame. Continue reading
How old ought a person be whence first they get their own mobile phone? I’m not keen on today’s technologically advancing world, so if I did bring up a child, I’d want to bring it up outside playing in the mud, not inside pestering me to buy it a smartphone.
But I hear that today’s kiddies don’t want mud as much as they want smartphones. Back in my day, kids didn’t have phones and they – we – were just fine thanks. Continue reading
Mum was ever so excited when we declared our engagement. ‘I’ll buy your wedding dress!’ she generously offered. Later, when she started looking into the cost of a half decent dress, Mum was shocked to see some cost as much as £200. I didn’t know how to tell her that her verbal contract was binding and the fact I had my eye on a £1500 dress was neither here nor there.
But I wasn’t always this way. I used to like loads of hippy shit. I spent £1 buying 2p once, because I was told the two pence piece had special properties that would prevent my mobile phone giving me cancer. I had my tarot cards read, got pricked with acupuncture needles when I hurt my back and dragged my husband to a palm reader very early on in our relationship when he was still polite enough to let me. Continue reading
Remember a few weeks ago how I waved goodbye to my campervan? That was fun. Since then, I’ve been trying to welcome a new vehicle into my life. But thanks to my unenviable ability to insult every car dealer I’ve tried to buy a car from, it proved harder than I thought.