• PUN

  OF THE MONTH

  

  “There are two types of people I hate …. racists and Norwegians.”

  Stewart Francis

• GUEST

  WRITERS

  

  Lucky old me, I know lots of clever writers. Each month, a new Guest Writer will grace us with their wit and warmth. Click here to read their words.

• WORDS

  I READ

  

  Every now and then, I finish a book. It takes a lot of Not Falling Asleep. I currently highly recommend Lee Mack’s Mack the Life.

• BLOGS

  I LOVE

  

  A blog roll of other sites I know and love and wish I’d thought of.

• all
• Atheism
• Current Affairs
• Design
• Exercise
• Films
• Fitness
• Funny
• Information
• Inspiration
• Music
• Nature
• Quackery
• Religion
• Science
• Space
• Videos
• YouTube

• 

  Pencil Case

• 

  Spike Milligan

  SPIKE MILLIGAN

  I borrowed from a friend a Spike Milligan book of kid’s poems in order to entertain my sister during a recent weekend. Turns out I was the most entertained – the man is a genius! This is my favourite poem.

  The ABC

  ‘Twas midnight in the schoolroom
  And every desk was shut
  When suddenly from the alphabet
  Was heard a loud “Tut-Tut!”

  Said A to B, “I don’t like C;
  His manners are a lack.
  For all I ever see of C
  Is a semi-circular back!”

  “I disagree,” said D to B,
  “I’ve never found C so.
  From where I stand he seems to be
  An uncompleted O.”

  C was vexed, “I’m much perplexed,
  You criticise my shape.
  I’m made like that, to help spell Cat
  And Cow and Cool and Cape.”

  “He’s right” said E; said F, “Whoopee!”
  Said G, “‘Ip, ‘Ip, ‘ooray!”
  “You’re dropping me,” roared H to G.
  “Don’t do it please I pray.”

  “Out of my way,” LL said to K.
  “I’ll make poor I look ILL.”
  To stop this stunt J stood in front,
  And presto! ILL was JILL.

  “U know,” said V, “that W
  Is twice the age of me.
  For as a Roman V is five
  I’m half as young as he.”

  X and Y yawned sleepily,
  “Look at the time!” they said.
  “Let’s all get off to beddy byes.”
  They did, then “Z-z-z.”

  Spike Milligan

• 

  Love This Woman

• 

  Pole Dancing

• 

  Eat Seasonably.

  EAT SEASONABLY.

  

   

  An ace chart of what to eat when. For more details, check out Eat Seasonably. 

• 

  How Animals Eat Their Food.

• 

  Wrinkly Fingers. Why?

  WRINKLY FINGERS. WHY?

  

  Aside from a built-in timer to get out of the bathtub, the ability for hands and feet to wrinkle after prolonged exposure to water may confer additional (and much more useful) evolutionary advantage.

  Research suggests that wrinkled palmar and plantar surfaces act as “tire treads” and allow for heightened grip in wet environments.

  Very interesting. Read more at the Evolution Facebook page.

• 

  Louis C.K. on smoking pot.

• 

  Level Crossing

  LEVEL CROSSING

  

  A wildlife bridge to help animals cross the road. Ain’t that lovely?

• 

  Clever Boy.

• 

  Age is just a number

  AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

  

  Shared by I f***king love Science. 

   

• 

  Ooo!

  OOO!

  A gorilla and a human baby reacting to the coldness of the stethoscope.

  The similarity is striking – and unsurprising, as they share 95-99% of their DNA.

  As shared by  The Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science (Official)

• 

  It’s started.

• 

  Think. Do. Grow.

  THINK. DO. GROW.

  “Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow” ~ Anthony J. D’Angelo

• 

  O.M.G

  O.M.G

  

  Simple things make me chuckle. Thank you The Beauty of Science and Reality. 

• 

  The Double Life

  THE DOUBLE LIFE

  How very simple life would be If only there were two of me A Restless Me to drift and roam A Quiet Me to stay at home. A Searching One to find his fill Of varied skies and newfound thrill While sane and homely things are done By the domestic Other One.   And that’s just where the trouble lies; There is a Restless Me that cries For chancy risks and changing scene, For arctic blue and tropic green, For deserts with their mystic spell, For lusty fun and raising Hell,   But shackled to that Restless Me My Other Self rebelliously Resists the frantic urge to move. It seeks the old familiar groove That habits make. It finds content With hearth and home — dear prisonment, With candlelight and well-loved books And treasured loot in dusty nooks,

  With puttering and garden things And dreaming while a cricket sings And all the while the Restless One Insists on more exciting fun, It wants to go with every tide, No matter where…just for the ride. Like yowling cats the two selves brawl Until I have no peace at all.   One eye turns to the forward track, The other eye looks sadly back. I’m getting wall-eyed from the strain, (It’s tough to have an idle brain) But One says “Stay” and One says “Go” And One says “Yes,” and One says “No,” And One Self wants a home and wife And One Self craves the drifter’s life.   The Restless Fellow always wins I wish my folks had made me twins.   By Don Blanding  (November 7, 1894 – June 9, 1957)

• 

  Precious.

  PRECIOUS.

  Caddisfly larvae build protective cases using materials found in their environment. Artist Hubert Duprat supplied them with gold leaf and precious stones. This is what they created.

  

• 

  I rely on you.

  I RELY ON YOU.

  Reading Lee Mack’s autobiography at the moment, in which he recommends the works of Hovis Presley. I can’t afford Hovis Presley’s book, currently £60 on Amazon. But I did find this poem online. It’s good.

   

   I rely on you

  I rely on you
  like a Skoda needs suspension
  like the aged need a pension
  like a trampoline needs tension
  like a bungee jump needs apprehension
  I rely on you
  like a camera needs a shutter
  like a gambler needs a flutter
  like a golfer needs a putter
  like a buttered scone involves some butter
  I rely on you
  like an acrobat needs ice cool nerve
  like a hairpin needs a drastic curve
  like an HGV needs endless derv
  like an outside left needs a body swerve
  I rely on you
  like a handyman needs pliers
  like an auctioneer needs buyers
  like a laundromat needs driers
  like The Good Life needed Richard Briers
  I rely on you
  like a water vole needs water
  like a brick outhouse needs mortar
  like a lemming to the slaughter
  Ryan’s just Ryan without his daughter
  I rely on you

  © H Presley 1994

• 

  Who needs drums?

• 

  Boobies

  BOOBIES

  

   

  Seeing as I’ve just been banging on about boobies over on the main blog page, how about some boobies here on Stimuli?

   Meet the blue footed booby, found from the Gulf of California down along the western coasts of Central and South America to Peru.

   Their bright blue feet are a sexually selected trait. The brighter a males feet, the more attractive he is to a female. To attract a female, they have an elaborate dancing ritual to display their feet, first lifting one foot and then the other.

   All credit to the good people at I f***ing love Science on Facebook. They do find some great shizzle.

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